decision-making

oh, the making of decisions. i'm usually really bad at it. like, so bad, that bad doesn't really even do it justice. if we're going out to dinner, i can never (ever) decide where we're going. i almost always make jeremy pick.

(which honestly? doesn't do us much good. because jeremy always comes back with "wherever is fine. i'm not picky. i'll eat anything." which then puts me back in charge of the decision and i just get frustrated. and it goes on and on.)

and wow was that a tangent or what? and it has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand really. cause you see, we received our second time home-buyers check in the mail yesterday. and even though i knew what i should do with that money, there were still all these ideas floating around in my head.

what i really wanted to do with it was pay down enough on my car so that we could buy me a newer car (with no negative equity hanging over our heads) that doesn't cost as much on upkeep. i even went so far as to pick out my new car this morning (a 2008 nissan rogue; just a bit bigger than what i currently drive; more storage, more room for kids; but it's still a 4 cylinder so it wouldn't eat up gas). i even sent the link to jeremy.

his response? "maybe."

and then? i just so happened to get on facebook where i saw one of my friends was celebrating paying off some major debt. & i stopped. and actually thought about things. about how if we paid this car off and just kept driving it... how that would allow us to pay off our (admittedly) stupid credit card. which would in turn, free up some mega-cash to add to our savings stash. which would mean that we could possibly have another kid sometime in the next few years without having to stress about money (not to mention ANOTHER kid in daycare).

and you know what? driving my 2003 sedan didn't sound so bad any more. and having money set aside in an emergency fund just in case something does goes wrong with this car? kind of a relief to think about. and? even if something did go wrong with this car, even if i add up the worst possibilities (short of needing a new car)? it would still be cheaper in the long run than buying a new (used) car.

sure, i'll need a new(er) car eventually. this one has almost 95k miles on it. & thankfully, it still runs perfectly. but i'm guessing that it will wear out at some point. but guess what? we might even have money saved up by then to (gasp!) pay for the new(er) car with cash.

and i like the way that thought makes me feel.

(edited to add: as soon as i hit publish, i had an email in my inbox. it was from nissan. i think someone's trying to play a mean joke on me. stupid nissan.)