that was the bumper sticker i saw on the car in front of me this morning. (clever, yes?) & no, i wasn't tailing him; i was at a red light. (i'm a stickler for driving rules. i don't like speeding. and i really don't like tailgaters. aggravates me to no end.)
but i digress. the bumper sticker got me to thinking. and well, thinking is sometimes good. and sometimes bad. this time it was good. good, because it had me thinking about my faith and do i follow jesus that closely?
the simple answer? no.
i'm a christian. and completely believe. but could i be a better christian? most definitely. could i attend church more often? again, for sure. and i know that we want to raise cayden in a christian home. jeremy and i both were raised in one, and i think we're better people to this day for it. and i want cayden to experience it too.
but it's not easy. believing in something that seems so far-fetched. but my faith? yeah, it's blind. it has to be. do i think it's ok to question things? absolutely. i think you learn more things when you're able to question them. and have discussions about them.
i want to have faith discussions with my family. jeremy and i do this already. so it only seems right to continue to do this as a family now. we're trying to improve our church-going. and speaking of church-going – no, i don't think you HAVE to go to church to be a christian. but you know what i do think? church is like school. and where else is there a better place out there to learn about your faith? so yeah, trying to improve on our church-going. and we're making more of an effort to say a blessing before every meal. with a one year old who clearly wants to eat (NOW!) this can sometimes be challenging. but we're trying.
gah, random thoughts all thrown together. stream-of-consciousness, what?
anyway, to sum up: no, i don't follow jesus closely enough. but do i want to? absolutely.
(as a side note, tiffany, a girl i follow on twitter & in the blogosphere had a cousin lose her three month old baby boy to SIDS yesterday. ugh, it's such an awful situation. and one that seems entirely unfair. if you would, please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.)
2 comments:
I LOVE this post and feel the same way...often. And as discouraged as I can get over the fact that I want/need to be a closer to Him, I find some comfort in the fact that I'm still striving to be closer to Him and still have a heart that desires to be more like His...you know? :)
Amen, sista. Almost every weekend, I say, we're going to church. This weekend, I REEEEALLY want to go...and think we will, finally. As I said to R, I need a message. I know I can read my bible or talk to God on my own, but sometimes preachers talk about the one thing that's been weighing on your mind, and that's so awesome.
Hope you're doing well...miss you guys, but glad you have a blog so I can stay updated! There's my stream of consciousness! ;)
xoxo
D
P.S. Just sent up a prayer for your friend and her cousin. That's just terrible.
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